A couple of weeks ago, I quipped about L.A.Toddler growing up too quickly and how maybe it was time for another baby. Flash forward to a couple Sundays ago.

L.A. Daddy was off shooting a short film with some a friend so Emma and I got to babysit her 9 month old daughter for about 6 hours. We were quite excited about this. Emma had gone through her toys and selected ones the baby would like to play with and hidden the ones she didn’t want slobbered on.

Watching this selection process, along wither her accompanying comments, was a hoot! I was looking forward to testing my skills at having two kids to watch by myself – how hard could it be, really?

10:00am – I’m officially on my own with the kids. They’re having fun playing together. Baby reaches for a toy, Emma snatches it from her hands. I explain that we’re sharing with Baby today, remember? Emma gives it back. Baby sticks it in her mouth and gets it all wet and slimy, then drops it. Emma sees its up for grabs so she stealthily snatches it back only to drop it like a hot potato and yell – “Eww, Mamma, it all wet!” This scenario repeats itself a few times and then the baby is screaming. Turns out she’s hungry. I feed her her bottle. She is quite independent and does not want me to help with any of it. So, I give her the bottle. She sits upright, dangles the bottle out of her mouth, sucks on it for all its worth and getting nothing but air.

This leads to more screaming. I convince her to lie back in my arms to drink her bottle. She likes this – for about 30 seconds – then she rolls out of my arms…. good thing I was sitting on the floor. She’s back to sitting upright, bottle dangling, screaming. Emma chimes in with “Mommy, I hungry, too!” “Okay,” I try to calm her, “Just a second, let me finish with the baby.”

Two seconds of silence. I prop the baby in lying down position on a boppy – make sure she’s got the bottle and can’t roll into anything then I go fetch a snack for Emma.

10:30am – Whoa! It’s a poopfest – a humdinger of a Poolapalozza! And not just the Baby — Emma had to throw in her 2 pounds 2 cents. This is gross except for the fact that we all know that when a baby is fed and dry… slumber is not far off!

10:45am – Emma helps me get Baby laid down for a nap. How nice for all of us.

11:00am – Emma wants lunch… of course, she pronounces all of her “ch” sounds very soft… so lunch actually sounds like lush. It’s cute but… at the time, I was already dreaming of a nice cold beer once the baby has left my house and so I could have sworn, on the spot, that she was calling me a lush. Whatever!

11:15am – Emma finishes her lunch and gets a little sleepy. Faboooo-lous! Am I lucky enough to actually have them both nap at the same time? Yes!

11:20am – Emma’s out like a light. I get a soda and plop down on the couch. Ahhh! Two kids – yeah it’s keeping me busy but what’s the big deal?

11:35am – Baby wakes up screaming – she’s hungry again. Emma’s awake and wants to feed the baby. The next 7 hours 2 hours are a blur of feeding, diapering, calming crying kids… blah, blah, blah.

I realize that I have to pee like a racehorse. So I’m sitting on the toilet and looking for a clock. What time it is? Must be… like… 4 oclock. Right?

It’s only… 1 o’clock?!

WTF?!

L.A. Daddy finally made it home and, oh yes… it was Miller Time! Beginning to re-think this whole 2nd Child thing, lemme tell you…